Janet (limnrix) wrote,
Janet
limnrix

On family - some undeveloped thoughts

I often feel that many domestic partnerships are barely based on romantic or sexual involvement. Perhaps some of the arguments toward eliminating marriage altogether consider that an association of friends or family could be as stable as the erotic and post-erotic bond. At the same time, I would be betraying some deeply held values to advocate for more sociality or, more importantly, for stigmatizing isolation. The goal is to make no lifestyle choice its own punishment, but the resources for this may be beyond any known system.
There's a whole radical psychology/sociology about the neurosis of family structure, and particularly the cultural imposition of romantic pair-bonding that won't work for many of those who seek it.
I don't like to necessarily demonize "pop culture" or even that phantom mainstream. I prefer not to argue that any accident of nurture, barring serious neglect or abuse and its multigenerational cycles, is "wrong".
I read a passage in Bolaño's 2666 today that I think is a parody of Marquez. The Mexican "family history" consists of a series of identically named women, all raped as teenagers. It's a kind of nasty brutal shortness, without patriarchy, that actually appears to me more of a utopia.
What it comes down to is a question of whether any society can be entirely autonomous, self-supporting individuals. Children always prevent it. And the bogey keeping the argument for traditional family structure going is the empoverished single mother. It may or may not be that government-organized social support is the only solution to this.
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